Quote:
Originally Posted by Simon
For some, the idea of 'negotiating' in advance to be sure that nothing will happen to which they haven't already agreed, or the concept of using a 'safe word' to give them a measure of control is so very far from how they live their lives.
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Even in non-BDSM sex, I think people learn a lot about what drives them sexually, and what gives them pleasure, by going beyond what they believe to be their (and their partner's) comfort zone. I'm sure that most women wouldn't have even tried anal sex if their partner hadn't initiated it by doing what
Patrice Oneil calls, "assholey things." Licking, fingering, etc. Some women end up begging for a cock in their ass while others threaten to cut your cock off with a rusty lawnmower blade if you go any further. There are women who enjoy being blindfolded, slapped and insulted during sex, yet they didn't know that they'd enjoy it until some guy slapped them, called them a slut and jizzed on their face, probably without asking. Humiliation and degradation can be powerfully erotic for certain people.
Also, if you derive any level of satisfaction or arousal from pleasuring your partner, you tend to do things that don't inherently please you. Oral sex doesn't physically stimulate the giver, but many people enjoy performing oral sex because they know that they are pleasuring the hell out of the receiver, assuming they know what they're doing.
I doubt any woman enjoys taking a facial cumshot for the pure enjoyment of needing to run to the bathroom and wash the cum out of their eyes before they start stinging. They do it because they want to pleasure their partner in whatever twisted manner which is most effective.
Whatever you do during sex only works if both partners walk/limp away without being hurt or pissed off. Of course, I also believe that we tend to have far too much puritanical guilt and regret over our perversions and deviations. But that's a whole other rant.