Question For The Guys: Why facials?

[Simon]

I know this isn't really the board for discussions of non-consensual sex, but as someone who 'discovered' my interest in what people call rough and/or bdsm-style sex very early, I can tell you that for many men and women in the Lifestyle there is a shared belief best expressed by the phrase "consent is over-rated."

It's closely related to the concept that bondage doesn't really begin until you no longer wish to be bound. Because until then you're only bound. It's only when you want to be released, and aren't, that bondage actually begins.

For some, the idea of 'negotiating' in advance to be sure that nothing will happen to which they haven't already agreed, or the concept of using a 'safe word' to give them a measure of control is so very far from how they live their lives.

Note: I'm not talking about going around forcing people you don't know to do whatever you want them to. As much fun as that is, it's not really legal to do. However, there are people who live by the belief that "consent is given once," and that it's given to a person, not to some subset of activities.

Just wanted to offer a little measure of alternative viewpoint to the discussion of consent.


Note to Bill: That doesn't sound like a wimp to me. It sounds like you know what you like to do and you make sure that you do what you like. Wimps are those who, even if they know what they'd like to do, rarely manage to make things happen they way they 'wish' they would. They don't understand that first is the will, and all else follows.


--
"Real Life is Unsafe, Insane, and Non-Consensual." -- The Book of Simon

[Useless]

Originally Posted by Simon

For some, the idea of 'negotiating' in advance to be sure that nothing will happen to which they haven't already agreed, or the concept of using a 'safe word' to give them a measure of control is so very far from how they live their lives.

Even in non-BDSM sex, I think people learn a lot about what drives them sexually, and what gives them pleasure, by going beyond what they believe to be their (and their partner's) comfort zone. I'm sure that most women wouldn't have even tried anal sex if their partner hadn't initiated it by doing what Patrice Oneil calls, "assholey things." Licking, fingering, etc. Some women end up begging for a cock in their ass while others threaten to cut your cock off with a rusty lawnmower blade if you go any further. There are women who enjoy being blindfolded, slapped and insulted during sex, yet they didn't know that they'd enjoy it until some guy slapped them, called them a slut and jizzed on their face, probably without asking. Humiliation and degradation can be powerfully erotic for certain people.

Also, if you derive any level of satisfaction or arousal from pleasuring your partner, you tend to do things that don't inherently please you. Oral sex doesn't physically stimulate the giver, but many people enjoy performing oral sex because they know that they are pleasuring the hell out of the receiver, assuming they know what they're doing.

I doubt any woman enjoys taking a facial cumshot for the pure enjoyment of needing to run to the bathroom and wash the cum out of their eyes before they start stinging. They do it because they want to pleasure their partner in whatever twisted manner which is most effective.

Whatever you do during sex only works if both partners walk/limp away without being hurt or pissed off. Of course, I also believe that we tend to have far too much puritanical guilt and regret over our perversions and deviations. But that's a whole other rant.

[LD]

Originally Posted by Simon

I know this isn't really the board for discussions of non-consensual sex, but as someone who 'discovered' my interest in what people call rough and/or bdsm-style sex very early, I can tell you that for many men and women in the Lifestyle there is a shared belief best expressed by the phrase "consent is over-rated."

It's closely related to the concept that bondage doesn't really begin until you no longer wish to be bound. Because until then you're only bound. It's only when you want to be released, and aren't, that bondage actually begins.

For some, the idea of 'negotiating' in advance to be sure that nothing will happen to which they haven't already agreed, or the concept of using a 'safe word' to give them a measure of control is so very far from how they live their lives.

Note: I'm not talking about going around forcing people you don't know to do whatever you want them to. As much fun as that is, it's not really legal to do. However, there are people who live by the belief that "consent is given once," and that it's given to a person, not to some subset of activities.

Just wanted to offer a little measure of alternative viewpoint to the discussion of consent.


Note to Bill: That doesn't sound like a wimp to me. It sounds like you know what you like to do and you make sure that you do what you like. Wimps are those who, even if they know what they'd like to do, rarely manage to make things happen they way they 'wish' they would. They don't understand that first is the will, and all else follows.


--
"Real Life is Unsafe, Insane, and Non-Consensual." -- The Book of Simon

Very interesting post there...it sounds a little like "consent to not consent" or something like that. Voluntarily being involuntary.