God likes chumps

spacemanspiff · 2004-06-06, 07:39 AM

I woke up this morning at about 2:30 and couldn't get back to sleep, so I wandered into the office where the TV was still on with the sound really low. Some televangelist was on, Robert Tilton I think. I didn't pay any attention to him until he started speaking in tongues. Never heard that before, especially on tv, so it got my attention.

He talks about the usual stuff those guys talk about. Then, he introduces a touching story about some guy and his wife that were going broke, about to get divorced, and just generally hating life, until they sent some money to this dude, whereupon their life immediately turned around. Now they're just happy as clams.

Now this gem of a human being tells his faithfull flock that if they send in a "vow of faith", then they too can have happiness, joy, and most importantly, cash. He's telling people that if they're down on their luck, lost their jobs, whatever, send in $1000, and god will see it and send good things their way.

So I thought

, then |raygun| , and finally

Then I went back to bed and dreamed of a swimming pool filled with televangelists and me standing on the side with a hair drier.

Surfn · 2004-06-06, 07:59 AM

That would be great.

I think they would have a common response "God told me to give you (insert amount) not to do this son"

spacemanspiff · 2004-06-06, 08:13 AM

Imagine me laughing so hard I pee in my pants when I take the money, unplug the hair drier, and lightning strikes the pool.

Surfn · 2004-06-06, 08:17 AM

Cleo · 2004-06-06, 08:21 AM

You can send me all of your money and find comfort knowing how much better my life is spending someone else’s money.

MrMaryLou · 2004-06-06, 09:51 AM

The sad part is that they get the air time

Surfn · 2004-06-06, 09:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by MrMaryLou
The sad part is that they get the air time

Using the money the suckers send them

A truly vicious cycle

Bill · 2004-06-06, 07:33 PM

At least when they are stealing peoples money they aren't burning scientists and witches at the stake.

thrillho · 2004-06-06, 08:54 PM

Several years ago, I came home to find a note, a small pipe packed with fragrant herbs, and a video tape sitting on top of the tv. The note said "You must do these things. Smoke this. Then watch this."
This is a small portion of what was on the video. It's one of the funniest things ever. I'll leave it up as long as the bandwidth doesn't get crazy. You must watch this.
Tilton video fun

dareutwo · 2004-06-06, 09:39 PM

thrillho -
Spilled my beer, choked on my cigarette, but laughed my ass off through 5 replays!!!
Great stuff!!

Greenguy · 2004-06-07, 08:52 AM

I worship

- all he asks for is $17.95 up front & he's good for the rest of your life

spacemanspiff · 2004-06-07, 09:26 AM

Great video. He really is filled with something. Most likely beans and frijoles.

Personally, I'm a dyslexic atheist.

I don't believe in DOG.

cockNballs · 2004-06-07, 11:27 AM

Jebus must be rolling over in his grave

2004-06-06, 07:39 AM	#1
spacemanspiff Where there's a will, I want to be in it. Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Looz-e-anna Posts: 1,015	God likes chumps I woke up this morning at about 2:30 and couldn't get back to sleep, so I wandered into the office where the TV was still on with the sound really low. Some televangelist was on, Robert Tilton I think. I didn't pay any attention to him until he started speaking in tongues. Never heard that before, especially on tv, so it got my attention. He talks about the usual stuff those guys talk about. Then, he introduces a touching story about some guy and his wife that were going broke, about to get divorced, and just generally hating life, until they sent some money to this dude, whereupon their life immediately turned around. Now they're just happy as clams. Now this gem of a human being tells his faithfull flock that if they send in a "vow of faith", then they too can have happiness, joy, and most importantly, cash. He's telling people that if they're down on their luck, lost their jobs, whatever, send in $1000, and god will see it and send good things their way. So I thought , then \|raygun\| , and finally Then I went back to bed and dreamed of a swimming pool filled with televangelists and me standing on the side with a hair drier. __________________ Submit your free sites to Free Sex Pics

2004-06-06, 08:13 AM	#3
spacemanspiff Where there's a will, I want to be in it. Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Looz-e-anna Posts: 1,015	Imagine me laughing so hard I pee in my pants when I take the money, unplug the hair drier, and lightning strikes the pool. __________________ Submit your free sites to Free Sex Pics

2004-06-06, 08:21 AM	#5
Cleo Subversive filth of the hedonistic decadent West Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Southeast Florida Posts: 27,936	You can send me all of your money and find comfort knowing how much better my life is spending someone else’s money. __________________ Free Rides on Uber and Lyft Uber Car: uberTzTerri Lyft Car: TZ896289

2004-06-06, 09:51 AM	#6
MrMaryLou i fucking told i type to fucking fast wtf Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: New York Posts: 11,247	The sad part is that they get the air time __________________ <a href="http://www.greenguysboard.com/onthebench/">Join Me For On The Bench </a>

2004-06-06, 09:39 PM	#10
dareutwo You can't disprove anything with evidence that doesn't exist Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: NW Minnesota - pop 865 +/- 1 Posts: 2,038	thrillho - Spilled my beer, choked on my cigarette, but laughed my ass off through 5 replays!!! Great stuff!! __________________ This is me Mark's-Links

2004-06-06, 07:59 AM	#2
Surfn If you don’t take a chance the Angels won’t dance Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Earth on occasion Posts: 8,812	That would be great. I think they would have a common response "God told me to give you (insert amount) not to do this son"

2004-06-06, 08:17 AM	#4
Surfn If you don’t take a chance the Angels won’t dance Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Earth on occasion Posts: 8,812

2004-06-06, 07:33 PM	#8
Bill Selling porn allows me to stay in a constant state of Bliss - ain't that a trip! Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 3,914	At least when they are stealing peoples money they aren't burning scientists and witches at the stake.

2004-06-06, 08:54 PM	#9
thrillho Kids are great, Appu. You can teach them to hate the things you hate and they practically raise themselves now-a-days, you know, with the internet and all Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 194	Several years ago, I came home to find a note, a small pipe packed with fragrant herbs, and a video tape sitting on top of the tv. The note said "You must do these things. Smoke this. Then watch this." This is a small portion of what was on the video. It's one of the funniest things ever. I'll leave it up as long as the bandwidth doesn't get crazy. You must watch this. Tilton video fun

2004-06-07, 08:52 AM	#11
Greenguy The Original Greenguy (Est'd 1996) & AVN HOF Member - I Crop Pics For Thumbs In My Sleep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Blasdell, NY (shithole suburb south of Buffalo) Posts: 41,929	I worship - all he asks for is $17.95 up front & he's good for the rest of your life __________________ Promote POV Porn Cash By Building & Submitting Galleries to the Porn Luv Network

2004-06-07, 09:26 AM	#12
spacemanspiff Where there's a will, I want to be in it. Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Looz-e-anna Posts: 1,015	Great video. He really is filled with something. Most likely beans and frijoles. Personally, I'm a dyslexic atheist. I don't believe in DOG. __________________ Submit your free sites to Free Sex Pics

2004-06-07, 11:27 AM	#13
cockNballs FKA AdultLegal-Jim Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Boston, MA Posts: 565	Jebus must be rolling over in his grave __________________

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Email this Page	Search this Thread: Advanced Search
Display Modes	Rate This Thread
Switch to Linear Mode Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode	Rate This Thread: