Does everyone in your family know you work in the adult industry?

[juggernaut]

Originally Posted by pornrex

Hmmm...you neglected to mention that she was all for this. Perhaps then they must be somewhat aware of her wild tendencies and therefore should not even think to put the blame squarely on your shoulders.

Of course they know she is crazy lol. Heck she left her country and came here for me. She had no reason to leave there, so yes they know.

Originally Posted by pornrex

Your situation is very delicate indeed a sort of damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Let me ask you, do you have a contigency plan?
Could your webcam biz take a turn for the 'racier' than anticipated side? What if this potential storm with the in-laws subsides and then the cash really starts flowing in? Are you BOTH involved in the decision making processes here? I don't want to make you feel nervous or insecure in anyway but YOU must somehow have YOUR ASS covered. I'm not trying to put down your wife at all - hear me out here. You did say you feel you are kind of along for the 'ride' so to speak. That you had a secure source of income for the next 20 years?

We are both involved in the decision making process. Are goals, are for her not to work on the site as a host. If by luck of the gods our site was to take off next month and the money is rolling in we would like to think that the money would be more then enough of a reason to them as to why we are doing this. The plan for me? Well I don't know about most guys who are married. This is my first time and we have only been married for 1 year. I will not BS you. It's hard. And being in this business makes it harder. No pun intended. We have had major almost violent blow outs due to this business. Having men want to constantly date or be in contact with your wife day after day will try any mans confidence in his love for her and her for him. But we always fix thos issues as soon as they come up and always make sure to talk about what freaked us out. As far as a back up plan if things go sour. I can always go back to my government job (20 year paycheck). Well not always but I can return to government service with my same pay and benefits package as long as it's with in 5 years of when I left. Would hate to do it but if needed, will deal with that nightmare. In the sence of the business I am not along for the ride lol. Its the other way around for me, or at least I feel that way. I do work here all day at this darn computer. The site is the only thing that will keep me from going crazy. I do everything other then the cam shows lol. I'm not saying they are easy, cause lord kknows they are tough on her. But trying to get a site off the ground, well everyone here knows that violin story.

Originally Posted by pornrex

Seems like you've compromised yourself for the oldest trick in the book. Not to worry. You are going to have to develop a contingency plan for you, Juggs. Obviously something is not proper within you. If you are comfortable in this situation then I apologize for jumping the gun here. If not, think where this might be headed. There are usually Three possible outcomes: The Good. The Bad. Or The Ugly. *cue the spaghetti western music*

I am comfortable in how things are. I'm not comfortable with her not telling her parents. I like them and got the impression they would have issues with what we are doing but would be able to deal with it, without a major out burst. I keep telling her to tell them now so it can be over with and any healing can begin. For me the worste thing that would happen is her parents would not want to talk with her anymore. If that were to happen the site would come down. And I would start wakeing up at 4:30am again, not going to bed at 3:30 am lol. I love my wife with every ounce and she loves me. The amount of shit we have been threw I can only judge on my past relationships. If thats any measure of secuity then I can be assured we are truly meant for each other.
LOL well I guess I really like this board as I have just posted so much personnal info lol.

[Rocco]

my sister Mary handles sometimes the reviews for me - I'm also thinking to get her to work more on my stuff once her son will start to go to school; she'll probably have enough spare time to help her big brother

[digifan]

I lost everyone to cancer so so young... I have only a sister left, she knows that but she is sortof prude. Least of my worries.

[spookyx]

Originally Posted by digifan

I lost everyone to cancer so so young... I have only a sister left, she knows that but she is sortof prude. Least of my worries.

big hugs to digifan

[Rocco]

maybe I'll also get Mary to join the board as well

[pornrex]

Originally Posted by digifan

I lost everyone to cancer so so young... I have only a sister left, she knows that but she is sortof prude. Least of my worries.

My kid brother died of cancer 15 years ago in March. After my folks, its just me and my cat. I keep getting told to find someone to get married with and that doing this will not help that me with that.

I know this: that when its all said and done, if I have not lived my life on my terms, I will not have a settled soul when its all over. And believe me, I really don't want to be haunting anything or anyone.
|ghost|

[wildgirl]

Yes, everyone in my family knows

[Ramster]

Noone knows. When I quit my regular job I told my parents (who live 800 miles away) that I took a job with an online casino in webmaster support. They're retired, don't live around me and in their 60's so I plan to leave it at that.

My best friend since childhold is the only one that knows, who also lives 800 miles away. Friends where I live now do not know but one of my closer ones suspects it. He jokes all the time I have to get up in the morning to make the porn.

[docholly]

well at various times, my daughter etc have had to deal with inlaws, mostly very uptight prudish jamaicans.. --it's that uk influence--

but as the primary income producer likewise they couldn't stop working to 'entertain' so they became 'on-line customer service' agents, who had to work in privacy.

depending on how your living facilities are set up, if she has a special room set aside, etc.. and you dont want to come clean on this particular visit..then just sit him down and say, 'i telecommute but because the camera, microphone pick up every noise, i must have total silence in the room' then hang a sign on the room--meeting in session.

|cool|

[Useless]

Everyone who asks me what I do knows what I do. I think that some aunts and cousins think I've been unemployed for the last three years, which is fine with me. My wife's parents don't know, at least I don't think that they know. Maybe they do... My wife's stepmother is a holy-roller and I just don't want to deal with her. I don't avoid telling someone due to embarassment. I'm not embarassed at all. It's just a matter of feeding people something they have the ability to digest.

[adamneve]

they all know and they all have a laugh about it each and every time

[tjchuck]

I haven't told anyone in my family, but I have told a few close friends. They didn't know what to think. Now after half a year they think I am wasting my life...fucking joke. And they were my close friends I should say.

This is really hard for me to lie to people about, as everyone that knows me knows that I had absolutely ZERO interest in computers or chat rooms or anything like that. Oh I guess I did have computer experience, but all excel, word, and power point. Prior to my porn business adventure, when I would get home from my real job, I would hop on my bike or go play tennis or work in the yard or just be outside...period. So they are not buying it that I would rather work on the computer than in a lab.

And my wifes side of the family has some knowledgable computer people, so I can't just feed them the I work in online marketing. My wifes cousin, who she used to be very close to prior to my business adventure, works in technical support for computer software and I am pretty sure she knows what a whois info check means. She just thinks I am playing games at home all day doing nothing.

So I guess I will just sacrifice being the loser in my and my wifes family, cause we all (webmasters) do work very long hours and the fuck if I am just going to throw that all away.
I just hope some day that financial security will come, to justify what has happened.

Sorry for the long rant, wish I could have just said Yeah everybody knows and they support me 100%

[juggernaut]

Originally Posted by docholly

well at various times, my daughter etc have had to deal with inlaws, mostly very uptight prudish jamaicans.. --it's that uk influence--

but as the primary income producer likewise they couldn't stop working to 'entertain' so they became 'on-line customer service' agents, who had to work in privacy.

depending on how your living facilities are set up, if she has a special room set aside, etc.. and you dont want to come clean on this particular visit..then just sit him down and say, 'i telecommute but because the camera, microphone pick up every noise, i must have total silence in the room' then hang a sign on the room--meeting in session.

|cool|

Very very good advice. It wont work tho as the house we live in is a 1 bedroom condo with a loft so its kind of all open space and only 1k worth of it. I think what I'm going to have my wife do is tell him before he comes here. She roughly has till August and I think that would be plenty of time to iron this all out. Besides they are 6k miles away and that should make things just a little easier or at least make my wife feel safer in that they cant or wont be able to yell at her face. I have sat with her dad a few times and really got the impression that a inteligent man that he is will be able to understand the business side of it. I also think he will respect it. I know they would not have any problems with this if she was not working the site. IE she was helping more in the business side of things. Im sure my screwed up brain will figure out something. Heck if it comes down to it. Ill call the bro and borrow the cash for the two months needed to cover us. At least this way we can tell them she only does the business end of it. Let them think we are successful webmasters. Wait are we? I once heard that getting a pay site up and running and receiving one sale is called successful lol.

[Tommy]

juggernaut

I am sorry I dont mean any offence but ....
I dont think this isnt gonna go over good

your wife does nude cam shows
they are gonna think the absolute worst

and like you said its gonna be pretty uncomfortable when shes doing her shows and your stuck with the inlaws

I have a daughter, I am in this buisness
if this was my daughter I would kill you

[dareutwo]

My parents know - my kids know.
Not sure about my brothers though, had the family reunion last weekend, that was the first time I'd seen two of them in 2 years. If mom told them, fine, I don't care.
Neighbors know I work online, and a few friends around here have Marks-links bookmarked..

[Ramster]

Originally Posted by juggernaut

Being I left my job the only income we have is from the wives camshows. We are surly not rich so her taking off that work for 1 or 2 months is just not possible. I can only see it now. Her dad finds out and then she tells him while he is here. Hey dad you need to sit up stairs with him while I work in the room lol. I think I would be murdered after a short while sitting with him. Him knowing his little girl is downstairs on cam would eat him alive.

No shit. He's gonna kill you for sure.

[juggernaut]

Originally Posted by Tommy

juggernaut

I am sorry I dont mean any offence but ....
I dont think this isnt gonna go over good

your wife does nude cam shows
they are gonna think the absolute worst

and like you said its gonna be pretty uncomfortable when shes doing her shows and your stuck with the inlaws

I have a daughter, I am in this buisness
if this was my daughter I would kill you

Tom why kill me? None of this was my idea. I dont want anyone to get the wrong impression here. I was very very content with having a 9 to 5 job. Well not content I hated it, but understood thats life. I never even came up with her doing this. When she got here I made her stop doing shows. But because I was working all day and she had no friends here. She was spending 99% of her day online talking with friends overseas. She was the one who put the foot down. Saying she is going to start doing cam shows for her own income. We were fine with the income but she did not like not having her own. I tried cutting off the internet in the house the 1st week but all that did was create problems for us. I finnally realized I either let her do it or she is going to hate me or leave me or just out and out make our lives a living hell. I do not own her nor she me. I took me a few days to get that threw my head. She was the one who totaly wanted to go the site route. She was a cam girl for 2 years before I met her. Believe me when I tell you that when she does decide to tell her parents. I will make sure they understand that I had nothing to do with getting her in this business, that it was all her idea.

[Agent]

I don't know who knows. I don't tell friends anymore. They keep asking for passwords, thinking I'm swimming in member access. Or yelling out at parties "This is Agent Deepshit, the guy who works in porn!" and I usually get all these weired stares from females. Guys usually go "aaaah! awesome! You work in porn!" A dumbass reaction I don't care for either. My father's side of the family would be humored by it, they wouldn't care. My mother's, while not prudes, don't know and I wont go blasting it around. They might think its a little odd. They love to gossip, and I'm sure the story would change slightly from webmaster to "Did you hear Kenny bangs circus clowns on his webcam?"

If anyone asks what I do I just say "Internet marketing".

[Tommy]

Originally Posted by juggernaut

Tom why kill me? None of this was my idea. I dont want anyone to get the wrong impression here. I was very very content with having a 9 to 5 job. Well not content I hated it, but understood thats life. I never even came up with her doing this. When she got here I made her stop doing shows. But because I was working all day and she had no friends here. She was spending 99% of her day online talking with friends overseas. She was the one who put the foot down. Saying she is going to start doing cam shows for her own income. We were fine with the income but she did not like not having her own. I tried cutting off the internet in the house the 1st week but all that did was create problems for us. I finnally realized I either let her do it or she is going to hate me or leave me or just out and out make our lives a living hell. I do not own her nor she me. I took me a few days to get that threw my head. She was the one who totaly wanted to go the site route. She was a cam girl for 2 years before I met her. Believe me when I tell you that when she does decide to tell her parents. I will make sure they understand that I had nothing to do with getting her in this business, that it was all her idea.

I dont wanna upset you and you seem like a really nice guy

and I beleive you 100% that she wants to do cam shows

I know I am being a huge hypocrite

but they are gonna think the worst

meaning prositution, gang bangs, chickens, goats etc etc

and I am sure you are gonna be thought of as a pimp

they are gonna think
why couldnt you keep a job and support their daughter like every other man

why is she supporting you by doing this??

are you forcing her to do this ???

if it was my daughter you would be dead
and I mean really dead and I would be spending the rest of my life in prison

again I am sorry but the way i read this is you are hopeful that this will go over easy and to me that seems like wishfull thinking

I dont see it going that way

[juggernaut]

Point taken and you are not upsetting me. lol. I understand completely your side. I know this is going to be a nightmare and no matter what I will most likly end up being the scape goat for her family. Thats fine with me, I can handle it. I'm more concerned about her being able to. Of course I'm hopeful lol its all i have. Sure the smart part of my brain is screaming out WARNING WARNING WARNING. But there is really nothing I can do. This is all on her. I can not force her to tell them. Or force her when to tell them. I personnaly am preparing my mind for the worst. Just thinking of what happens after is the real scary part. Who knows after August if no one see me post here anymore. Do a who is on my site and contact the that towns police. I could be laying in my living room rotting away. Dont worry Tom I take it all in stride. If I wanted everyone to agree with me I could have put up a 2257 post and how its ruining everyones lives lol.

[Tommy]

why cant she do her shows from somewhere else
and the 2 of you just leave for work everyday

also her father is gonna think that his friends, drinking buddies, co workers, family and neighbors can see his daughter getting butt fucked on the internet

Ohh god...What is uncle John and Aunt Mary gonna think

and of course you have no real job to speak of
and everything is paid for from money that comes in from her cam shows

[Wenchy]

Originally Posted by Useless Warrior

I don't avoid telling someone due to embarassment. I'm not embarassed at all. It's just a matter of feeding people something they have the ability to digest.

Couldn't have said it better, UW. My parents and my brothers know and really act like they could care less. Come to think of it, I don't think my youngest brother's wife knows, but then I don't like her anyway and couldn't give a blue fuck what she thinks. My sister... I'm not sure; I haven't told her but if she knows it's no big wiggle to me.

Extended family is another story entirely. My dad's dad is kind of an asshole (and I say that in a loving way) and the grief I'd get from him would be more along the lines of "why do you work at home instead of out in the real world like a normal person?"... just not worth it. I think the porn part of it would be so "distasteful" to him that he'd try to skirt the issue as much as possible, which is pretty much they way he always does things. I'm not close to the rest of dad's family... they don't know me or what I do.

My mom's side of the family lives pretty much in the bible belt... see UW's quoted statement above as an explanation for their lack of knowledge.

My son knows and is showing a great deal of curiosity about and interest in writing HTML, using FTP, how servers work, etc. A couple more years and I may have a built in partner.

I suppose if the neighbors ask I'll tell 'em, but at this point it's not an issue.

Good luck Jugg... I wouldn't trade places with you for all the tea in China

[juggernaut]

Originally Posted by Tommy

why cant she do her shows from somewhere else
and the 2 of you just leave for work everyday

also her father is gonna think that his friends, drinking buddies, co workers, family and neighbors can see his daughter getting butt fucked on the internet

Ohh god...What is uncle John and Aunt Mary gonna think

and of course you have no real job to speak of
and everything is paid for from money that comes in from her cam shows

You know I really did not think about my options with that. Which is totaly possible. My mother lives about 20 minutes away and works 10 hour days. SHe knows what we do and has no issues with it. Im sure Nicole could go there to work. But I still want her to tell them something. I just dont like this hiding crap from them. Income from me is not a major issue. I own a lawn cutting business with my brother. Its a 70/30 split me getting the 30 as all i do is manage the finances. We just manage 5 Mexicans. The income from it after my cut is really not much, about 300 for the week. If I went on the road with them would prob be more, not much I suppose. But I guess while he is hear I can do that.

[Tommy]

just curious what do the mexicans get paid ??

[Ramster]

If she was a cam girl BEFORE you met her then she should tell her Dad that SHE got YOU into the busniess and that you are actually building up a nice business for them so she won't have to do cam shows anymore.

And besides, why would you tell her Dad her cam show income pays the bills? Don't.