I turned my son in

[ecchi]

Joe, did you read my post on this subject? The one where I talk about kids who will be dead before they are thirty because their parents do not have the courage to turn them in? If not, read it now, particularly the paragraph:

"Those who are saying that they would never turn their kid in are saying that they think more of themselves than they do their kid. They are saying they would rather see their kid dead in a pool of blood than suffer the shame of being an informer."

In reply to your post ("I'm not a parent....") I'd say "Fucking good job you're not".

[JoeBlack]

Originally Posted by ecchi

Joe, did you read my post on this subject? The one where I talk about kids who will be dead before they are thirty because their parents do not have the courage to turn them in? If not, read it now, particularly the paragraph:

I read your post but it was to hard to understand at times so I just sent it to jail.

You don't get it do you? It's not even about being an "informer" Its about not taking the choice away from someone to change just because its getting a little hard on the parent.

Originally Posted by ecchi

"Those who are saying that they would never turn their kid in are saying that they think more of themselves than they do their kid. They are saying they would rather see their kid dead in a pool of blood than suffer the shame of being an informer."

"Dead in a pool of blood" You are so dramatic.

Where else in the world can you end up like that ? prison

Originally Posted by ecchi

In reply to your post ("I'm not a parent....") I'd say "Fucking good job you're not".

If I was a parent the first thing I would have done was ask myself why does my son have to sell drugs ? Then I would tell myself if money was the only problem then I should figure out a way to set my son up with some of this great porn money im making. Or even offer to set him up an account as long as he stayed away from selling drugs and kept his grades at a decent level. Who knows maybe that might have worked to.

I don't know I could have done that or the jail thing it's a toss up.

Guess its a good thing im not a parent.

[ecchi]

Originally Posted by JoeBlack

If I was a parent the first thing I would have done was ask myself why does my son have to sell drugs ? Then I would tell myself if money was the only problem then I should figure out a way to set my son up with some of this great porn money im making. Or even offer to set him up an account as long as he stayed away from selling drugs and kept his grades at a decent level. Who knows maybe that might have worked to.

And if you had read Sue's first post carefully you would have seen she has done all this. She had the choice of taking this step or giving up on her son, you I take would have just given up, after all what is a son, you can always have another one, right?

I think the problem with you not being a father is that you have no experience of how a teenager reacts. You can tell them 'till you are blue in the face and get ignored. In many cases they have to see for themselves the consequences of their actions before they accept them.

Incidentally, most people here seem to have a view of prison life that comes from watching too much Fox and too many bad movies. Prison life may be bad, but this romantic view that 'everyone gets killed in prison, and when they get out (after being murdered in the exercise yard?) they cannot get a job and their life is ruined', is as much bullshit as saying 'life in prison is like a holiday camp, and you get free lemonade whenever you want'.

[Zee]

Originally Posted by Jim

People that are not parents have absolutely no idea what they would or would not do in this situation. There is nothing I wouldn't do for any of my children. And if I ever thought the only thing that would save one of their lives was to call the police, I would be on the phone in a second.

Started a post by saying "I'm not a parent but..." is all well and good. But, you really have no idea what being a parent is.

VERY VERY well said sir. If someone's never been a parent before they have no idea what we will do to protect out children.

[eman]

Originally Posted by Jim

People that are not parents have absolutely no idea what they would or would not do in this situation. There is nothing I wouldn't do for any of my children. And if I ever thought the only thing that would save one of their lives was to call the police, I would be on the phone in a second.

Started a post by saying "I'm not a parent but..." is all well and good. But, you really have no idea what being a parent is.

People who aren't in THE situation have no idea what they would do. It's got nothing to do with being a parent. You could have 50 kids and still have no idea with regards to THE situation.

We are all equally disqualified from making an objective judgement (bar one).

This thread wasn't started because of the problem - it was posted because there were questions about the solution. And there's only one person who can answer those questions.

[Cliff]

Originally Posted by eman

People who aren't in THE situation have no idea what they would do.

I can clearly imagine the situation.... and I am 99.9% sure that I'd not call the police.

[eman]

Originally Posted by Cliff

I can clearly imagine the situation.... and I am 99.9% sure that I'd not call the police.

"People who aren't in THE situation have no idea what they would do. It's got nothing to do with being a parent."

You missed the point.

[cherri]

Sue she is simply pointing out that someone has to sell it in order for someone to buy it and smoke it. That someone has to be someones child. Cleo makes alot of good points, there were alot of other options other than turning him in. I don't see her attacking the love you have for your kids, just the choices YOU made for them. I have 4 children all boys, in the last few months there has been two people we know to die of a heroin overdose. I hope I will never have to go through what you have been through because I could not make the decision you did. Everyone has a diffent way of handling things and a way of thinking of things and different opinions. One of the people who died their father has to go to work at midnight comes home and has to babysit his 24 year old son, because he is a heroin addict and has been through rehab and it didn't work. Is it an easy road NO. But he loves his son. The guy gets no sleep, lost his girlfriend and has given up his whole life to protect his son. His son also went to prison and that didn't work. I'm not trying to insult you just trying to show you that there are diffences in the way people deal with things.

[sue-fl]

Originally Posted by cherri

Sue she is simply pointing out that someone has to sell it in order for someone to buy it and smoke it. That someone has to be someones child. Cleo makes alot of good points, there were alot of other options other than turning him in. I don't see her attacking the love you have for your kids, just the choices YOU made for them. I have 4 children all boys, in the last few months there has been two people we know to die of a heroin overdose. I hope I will never have to go through what you have been through because I could not make the decision you did. Everyone has a diffent way of handling things and a way of thinking of things and different opinions. One of the people who died their father has to go to work at midnight comes home and has to babysit his 24 year old son, because he is a heroin addict and has been through rehab and it didn't work. Is it an easy road NO. But he loves his son. The guy gets no sleep, lost his girlfriend and has given up his whole life to protect his son. His son also went to prison and that didn't work. I'm not trying to insult you just trying to show you that there are diffences in the way people deal with things.

Thank-you Cherri. Of course their are differences in the way people handle things. I have no problem if people disagree with me, as I have said before. But you can disagree without the jabs that I got from her, like the way you posted. If I feel I'm being swung at I'll swing back. My hats off to your friend I'm glad the way he decided to handle it is working for him.

[JoeBlack]

ecchi please if your going to try and make a point please dont change or add words to my statement. I never said anything about giving up. In fact my whole point was about not giving up. Hints the not sending to jail part. Your statement about a son and having another one that was based on ??? ... nah nevermind I know you were just trying to be clever.

Hmm I find this interesting. So in your words what you are saying is that "you are blue in the face and get ignored" so the only thing you can do to prove you are the adult and show them whos boss is to show them the extreme "consequences of their actions" so they accept what you say and make your job easier. See what I just did there with the word changing its not that hard to do.

I just want to know are you serious ?!?! PRISON is were they send the bad people who kill and rape. They call it prison because they have to lock these people up so they so dont hurt the people outside of the jail. What do you think all that stuff just stops once there locked up? Come on be serious.

[Toby]

[Cliff]

What you all do with your kids is your own business, and I respect your choice of action.

But, I would never ever call the police to my children.

I do not take drugs. But I think if people wanna take drugs it's their choice.

The whole world is fucked up, half the conflicts that are killing young soldiers in Iraq, Afghanistan, Israel and Lebanon are likely to have been sparked off by the CIA and MI6. Organisations that hold control over the law enforcement agencies.

The real criminals are sitting behind desks this morning...... not selling pot on the streets.

My attitude towards everything now is..... LOOK AFTER YOUR OWN.

[JoeBlack]

Toby you are very right.

I am sorry if this has gotten off track and if I have spoke very harshly towards sci-fi choices but I just want to make it clear to anyone else who is having trouble with there child that the very extreme is not always the answer and it does not always work.

Some will say no one asked for your opinion but when you post on a public board like this the way she did it could have only came out 2 ways. Those who agree with what she did and those who disagree (ie: Me).

Even tho I extremely disagree with what she did I only wish her and her son the best with the decision she has made for them both. I only hope that when he comes out that he is not broken or held back in life for an 18 year old adolescent mistake that got taken to far.

This is the last thing I will say on this thread unless I am directly addressed.

[Jel]

Well hell,

I swore blind I wouldn't post in this thread, and as usual I'm about to

I was in THE situation. When I was 18 and was taking a shitload of drugs. How to pay? Steal. Where to steal from? Parents, neighbors, any old person who had a home I could break into. What happens? Bleeding heart liberals say the pressure of being an adolescent is so harsh that they'll mollycoddle me and see if some group hugs won't do the trick.

They don't. More thievery, more downward spiralling, more misery for my folks, compounded when I broke into the nighbors houses on each side of my parents, that goes down a treat when the old man is out front mowing the lawn I can tell ya.

Stolen goods and powder/pills all over the damn house. What do they do? They try talking, reasoning, offer support, all the usual stuff. I didn't want to know. I'm 18 and nothing can hurt me.

I got kicked out and spent a long while homeless, sleeing in cars, whether they were unlocked or I had to break into them. Sleeping in doorways. I was welcome back home if I laid of the drugs and theft, but I was far too pig-headed (and in no small way addicted) for that.

Came to a head when I broke into my parent's house to stash some stuff I'd robbed from elsewhere, my mom called the cops, and I served 18 months.

Without a doubt, THE best thing that coulda happened to me. I will never forget what I put her through, and it was a damn lot, before she felt she had no other choice but to see me throw my life down the toilet. I am, and will be eternally grateful.

[MrYum]

Originally Posted by Jel

Well hell,

I swore blind I wouldn't post in this thread, and as usual I'm about to

I was in THE situation. When I was 18 and was taking a shitload of drugs. How to pay? Steal. Where to steal from? Parents, neighbors, any old person who had a home I could break into. What happens? Bleeding heart liberals say the pressure of being an adolescent is so harsh that they'll mollycoddle me and see if some group hugs won't do the trick.

They don't. More thievery, more downward spiralling, more misery for my folks, compounded when I broke into the nighbors houses on each side of my parents, that goes down a treat when the old man is out front mowing the lawn I can tell ya.

Stolen goods and powder/pills all over the damn house. What do they do? They try talking, reasoning, offer support, all the usual stuff. I didn't want to know. I'm 18 and nothing can hurt me.

I got kicked out and spent a long while homeless, sleeing in cars, whether they were unlocked or I had to break into them. Sleeping in doorways. I was welcome back home if I laid of the drugs and theft, but I was far too pig-headed (and in no small way addicted) for that.

Came to a head when I broke into my parent's house to stash some stuff I'd robbed from elsewhere, my mom called the cops, and I served 18 months.

Without a doubt, THE best thing that coulda happened to me. I will never forget what I put her through, and it was a damn lot, before she felt she had no other choice but to see me throw my life down the toilet. I am, and will be eternally grateful.

Wow...hats off to ya for turning the corner Jel and for deciding to post your story

[juggernaut]

Hey Sue. Have not been keeping up with this thread as it get to long and to crazy. But just got word an ex-coworkers son died last sunday. I have not been given the details yet. But I'm pretty sure it was drug related as the guy was constantly taking off work at least 1 day a week cause this kid was all over drugs.
http://miva.courierpostonline.com/mi...R%2BE.+7a11a06

hang in there.

[Jim]

I always used to laugh at the thought of pot being a gateway drug. I think they started saying that during the "Just Say No", Regan years. I was much younger then and always thought, how is it a gateway drug? It's just old people trying to scare kids.

But then, after thinking about it a bit and mostly teasing my wife...I really don't know anyone that smoked pot that has not tried something else. I don't have any idea what the link from pot to something else is, but it does seem to be there. It's probably because of the insane law making pot illegal. When you deal with an illegal product, there are surely much more to follow. So, who can we blame for the drug problem? I blame the lawmakers for making such a stupid law. After all, nobody says alcohol is a gateway drug. I guess I went off on a tangent. I do wonder how Mexico is doing after making all drugs legal. I haven't heard a word about it. Has it even gone into effect yet? I have to imagine drug related crimes have dropped considerably.

[juggernaut]

Originally Posted by Jim

I always used to laugh at the thought of pot being a gateway drug. I think they started saying that during the "Just Say No", Regan years. I was much younger then and always thought, how is it a gateway drug? It's just old people trying to scare kids.

But then, after thinking about it a bit and mostly teasing my wife...I really don't know anyone that smoked pot that has not tried something else. I don't have any idea what the link from pot to something else is, but it does seem to be there.

Have to agree here Jim. I have never done anything else then smoke weed. BUt I have had my chances to try coke, acid and herion. The only reason I never followed my friends into those crazy nights was everytime the stuff was offered I saw my bro flopping on the ground. If not for that I'm sure I would have tried it. One night I got my ass kicked from my own friends cause they were doing coke and I wanted to try. They knew the problems my family had gone through and they would be damed if I went down that road. Kind of strange when you think about it. 4 guys snorting and they won't let one try. Good friends? I like to think so, they have all cleaned up since then, but I don't know if it was were we lived or the weed that gatewayed them to try coke. Living as close to the beach it's like party central in the summer. But I do have one friend who never tried anything, not even smoking cigs. If you smoke around him he hits the roof. We tied him up one night and tossed him in a closet and blew smoke under the door. We ran like bats out of hell when he got out.

[Zee]

I do wonder how Mexico is doing after making all drugs legal. I haven't heard a word about it. Has it even gone into effect yet? I have to imagine drug related crimes have dropped considerably.

Tha page this came from has lots of pops but here's the jist.
MEXICO CITY — Heeding an outcry of criticism, President Vicente Fox retreated Wednesday from supporting a proposed law that would have allowed small amounts of drug use in Mexico without criminal penalties.

Fox's office said he was sending the legislation back to Congress so it could make "necessary corrections to be absolutely clear that in our country the possession and consumption of drugs is and will continue being crimes."

[digifan]

Don't break the heart of a mother who is deep down anyway please... it is her son, she did the labor, she raised him up, she watched all the good and bad... she came to this decision so respect it, she has to live with it.
She came here for support and not for opinions.

[digifan]

Amen to that.. time to close this thread, don't you think so?

[Jim]

The second Sue asks me to close this thread, I will
We normally won't close a thread but, this is a little different and I would be happy to do it for her.

[digifan]

Cool Jim

I have no idea why people who have 8 posts jump on this thread and start page #4 just mumbling about drugs in Mexico causing her even more pain - like she can ever forgive herself - , unless they have been around using another nick but it is not gfy.. I am sure that Sue's problem is not the #1 topic worth to read and post here. Just my 2 cents worth...

PS
I bet she'd be happy to see it go but she will never ask you...

[Jim]

OK, I will close it and she can ask me to open it if she wants it open.