Google's 950 Penalty

DangerDave · 2007-04-06, 04:55 PM

Googles "No Brain" Penalty
by DangerDave

Webmasters have discovered a new Google filter that Google uses to downrank web sites in its result pages. Has this filter been applied to your web site? How can you avoid that Google applies that filter to your site?

What is Google's No Brain filter?
The No Brain filter is a penalty that Google applies to web sites that are run by webmasters with no brains. If Google applies the penalty to a web site, the rankings of that site are downgraded by 9875.354 positions.

Many webmasters reported that they had top rankings on Google and now they cannot get beyond position -485.12 in Google. Some webmasters even have #5854.54 rankings for all of their keywords on Google.

Why does Google apply the No Brain filter to some web sites?
It seems that Google applies the No Brain filter to web sites whose webmasters hang out on WebmasterWorld too much talking about bullshit theories that can never be proven or unproven. It seems that following the current theory-of-the-month triggers the No Brain filter on Google:

-30 penalty
If the webmasters age is below thirty google penalises the site for being run by an immature nincompoop.

-950 penalty
If a site was ranked at any number and is now ranked at any other lower number then webmasters can say that this penalty has been applied without showing any reason, argument, proof or supprt.

Standing on left leg penalty
If the webmaster of a site in the northern hemisphere stands on one leg and then falls to the right , then this penalty is applied. Of course the opposite is true for webmasters in the southern hemisphere.(Though this could change due to global wamring.)

Pull a rabbit out of my arse penalty
If a webmaster(wether standing on one leg or two) can pull a rabbit out of their arse, and the rabbit comes out clean, then no penalty applies. If the rabbit comes out stained, skidmarked or suffocated, the webmaster and their site suffers the RSPCA penalty.( also known as the dog penalty) In this case Google delivers savage dogs via UPS to the webmasters home and they are torn limb from limb.(Webmasters must also pay the return postage for the savage dogs)

First of all, you should remove the spam elements from your web site - because if you don't you are a fucking spammer and you will die a horrible death. If you use JavaScript redirects or doorway pages, then you are a redirecting lame-arse spammer and you deserve everything you get

The NO Brain filter seems to be an automated filter. If you remove the spam factors from your site then you'll probably turn your site into something that may actually be of value to the surfer and therefore you may get your rankings back after some time. You can also send a I am a spamming cunt and I want to be forgiven request to Google.

If nothing helps, then the only way to get reincluded in Google is to stand on one leg, pull a rabbit out of your arse, face mecca, and state three times in a lound voice "George Bush is the smartest man in the world"(or you could just get a new domain name to start spamming with)

Google doesn't like spammers. If you want lasting results then you should focus on NOT BEING A FUCKING SPAMMER!

Jim, you could include this in the next newletter, as it contains the same amount of factual information as this article did..

DD

Bill · 2007-04-06, 05:43 PM

Dave, it's easy to say that kind of thing (and the "Pulling Rabbit From Arse" penalty is pretty funny), but pretty much by definition 98% of adult sites are spammy.

I don't doubt that most adult sites, with their reliance of reciprocal linking, inherently heavy keyword loading, and multiple pages any one of which is inherently indistinguisable from so-called doorway pages, are likely to get some kind of knocked-back penalty applied automatically by the algos.

To say the knock-back is 30 positions or 950 positions is probably bullshit - to think that there's a knockback probably has some truth to it.

But, ultimately, we are still left with the problem that adult sites are inherently spammy - they exist to acheive a commercial goal, not to provide commercial free information, which is what google prefers and rewards.

Halfdeck · 2007-04-06, 07:10 PM

Quote:

First of all, you should remove the spam elements from your web site - because if you don't you are a fucking spammer

Yeah but if you got no brains you wouldn't even know you're spamming.

2007-04-06, 04:55 PM	#1
DangerDave Bonged Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: BrisVegas, AUSTRALIA Posts: 4,882	Googles "No Brain" Penalty by DangerDave Webmasters have discovered a new Google filter that Google uses to downrank web sites in its result pages. Has this filter been applied to your web site? How can you avoid that Google applies that filter to your site? What is Google's No Brain filter? The No Brain filter is a penalty that Google applies to web sites that are run by webmasters with no brains. If Google applies the penalty to a web site, the rankings of that site are downgraded by 9875.354 positions. Many webmasters reported that they had top rankings on Google and now they cannot get beyond position -485.12 in Google. Some webmasters even have #5854.54 rankings for all of their keywords on Google. Why does Google apply the No Brain filter to some web sites? It seems that Google applies the No Brain filter to web sites whose webmasters hang out on WebmasterWorld too much talking about bullshit theories that can never be proven or unproven. It seems that following the current theory-of-the-month triggers the No Brain filter on Google: -30 penalty If the webmasters age is below thirty google penalises the site for being run by an immature nincompoop. -950 penalty If a site was ranked at any number and is now ranked at any other lower number then webmasters can say that this penalty has been applied without showing any reason, argument, proof or supprt. Standing on left leg penalty If the webmaster of a site in the northern hemisphere stands on one leg and then falls to the right , then this penalty is applied. Of course the opposite is true for webmasters in the southern hemisphere.(Though this could change due to global wamring.) Pull a rabbit out of my arse penalty If a webmaster(wether standing on one leg or two) can pull a rabbit out of their arse, and the rabbit comes out clean, then no penalty applies. If the rabbit comes out stained, skidmarked or suffocated, the webmaster and their site suffers the RSPCA penalty.( also known as the dog penalty) In this case Google delivers savage dogs via UPS to the webmasters home and they are torn limb from limb.(Webmasters must also pay the return postage for the savage dogs) First of all, you should remove the spam elements from your web site - because if you don't you are a fucking spammer and you will die a horrible death. If you use JavaScript redirects or doorway pages, then you are a redirecting lame-arse spammer and you deserve everything you get The NO Brain filter seems to be an automated filter. If you remove the spam factors from your site then you'll probably turn your site into something that may actually be of value to the surfer and therefore you may get your rankings back after some time. You can also send a I am a spamming cunt and I want to be forgiven request to Google. If nothing helps, then the only way to get reincluded in Google is to stand on one leg, pull a rabbit out of your arse, face mecca, and state three times in a lound voice "George Bush is the smartest man in the world"(or you could just get a new domain name to start spamming with) Google doesn't like spammers. If you want lasting results then you should focus on NOT BEING A FUCKING SPAMMER! Jim, you could include this in the next newletter, as it contains the same amount of factual information as this article did.. DD

2007-04-06, 05:43 PM	#2
Bill Selling porn allows me to stay in a constant state of Bliss - ain't that a trip! Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 3,914	Dave, it's easy to say that kind of thing (and the "Pulling Rabbit From Arse" penalty is pretty funny), but pretty much by definition 98% of adult sites are spammy. I don't doubt that most adult sites, with their reliance of reciprocal linking, inherently heavy keyword loading, and multiple pages any one of which is inherently indistinguisable from so-called doorway pages, are likely to get some kind of knocked-back penalty applied automatically by the algos. To say the knock-back is 30 positions or 950 positions is probably bullshit - to think that there's a knockback probably has some truth to it. But, ultimately, we are still left with the problem that adult sites are inherently spammy - they exist to acheive a commercial goal, not to provide commercial free information, which is what google prefers and rewards.