Christmas Humor

[spacemanspiff]

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
The whole damn family was as drunk as a louse.
Grandma and Grandpa were singin' a song,
And the kid was in bed, floggin' his dong.

Ma home from the cathouse, And me out of jail,
I had just settled down for a nice piece of tail.
When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter,
I jumped off my sister-in-law to see what was the matter.

Away to the window, I made a mad dash,
Flew open the shutters and fell on my ass.

But what to my bloodshot eyes did appear,
A rusty old sled and twelve mangy rein deer,
I saw a shadow of a man beating his dick,
I knew in an instant it must be St. Nick.

"On dasher, on Blitzen, up over those walls,
"hurry, goddamnit, or I'll cut off your balls."

Up on the roof, he foundered and fell,
And came right down the chimney like a bat out of hell.
He staggered and stumbled on over to the door,
Tripped over his cock, and fell on the floor.

He filled all out stockings with rubbers and beer.
And left a big dildo for the family queer.

And I heard him explain, as he rode out of sight,
"Piss on you all, It's been a hell of a night."