Joke

Ernie · 2003-09-15, 08:41 PM

A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him.
The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?"

The mother replies "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it."

"You're wasting your time," said the boy.

"Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled.

"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up.

"

Extreme John · 2003-09-15, 08:46 PM

I love it!!!

Ernie · 2003-09-18, 04:19 PM

A plane with 4 passengers is about to crash, but has only three
parachutes. The first passenger says "I'm Kobe Bryant, the best NBA
basketball player. The Lakers need me. I can't afford to die." So he
takes the first parachute and leaves the plane.

The second passenger, Hillary Clinton, says "I am the wife of the
former President of the United States. I am the most ambitious woman in
the world. I am also a New York Senator, a potential future President,
and above all, the smartest woman in America." She grabs the second
parachute and leaves the plane.

The third passenger, The Rev. Billy Graham, says to the fourth
passenger, a 10 year old school boy, "I am old and I don't have many
years left. As a Christian I will sacrifice my life and let you have the
last parachute."

The boy says, "It's okay. There is still a parachute left for you.
America's smartest woman took my school backpack."

Ernie · 2003-09-21, 05:36 AM

There once was a lady who was tired of living with men who were either physically abusive, ran away from her, or were horrible in bed.

So she put an ad in the paper, that was asking for a man who:
A) would treat her nicely
B) wouldn't run away from her
C) would be good in bed

Three weeks passed, and there was no reply from any man. So she just figured that there wasn't a man alive who could live up to these expectations, so she just gave up. Then one day she heard the doorbell ring. She answered it, and there on the front porch was a man in a wheel chair who didn't have any arms or legs. The man said, "I'm here about the ad you put in the paper. As you can see, I have no arms so I can't beat you, and I have no legs so I can't run away from you."

The woman replied, 'Yes, but are you good in bed?'

And the man said, with a smirk on his face, "How do you think I rang the doorbell?"

Ernie · 2003-09-21, 06:46 PM

A British doctor says "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a brain out of one man, put it in another and have him looking for work in six weeks."

A German doctor says, "That's nothing, we can take a brain out of one person, put it in another and have him preparing for war in four weeks."

The American doctor, not to be outdone, says, "You guys are way behind, we just took a man with no brain out of Texas, put him in the White House, and now half the country is looking for work, and the other half preparing for war."

2003-09-15, 08:41 PM	#1
Ernie Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Atlanta Posts: 28	Joke A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him. The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?" The mother replies "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it." "You're wasting your time," said the boy. "Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled. "Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up. "

2003-09-15, 08:46 PM	#2
Extreme John Afro John says: "Touch The Extreme Afro & You'll Be In Extreme Pain!" Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: FL Posts: 1,671	I love it!!! __________________ September 6, 2007

2003-09-18, 04:19 PM	#3
Ernie Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Atlanta Posts: 28	Smartest woman A plane with 4 passengers is about to crash, but has only three parachutes. The first passenger says "I'm Kobe Bryant, the best NBA basketball player. The Lakers need me. I can't afford to die." So he takes the first parachute and leaves the plane. The second passenger, Hillary Clinton, says "I am the wife of the former President of the United States. I am the most ambitious woman in the world. I am also a New York Senator, a potential future President, and above all, the smartest woman in America." She grabs the second parachute and leaves the plane. The third passenger, The Rev. Billy Graham, says to the fourth passenger, a 10 year old school boy, "I am old and I don't have many years left. As a Christian I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute." The boy says, "It's okay. There is still a parachute left for you. America's smartest woman took my school backpack."

2003-09-21, 05:36 AM	#4
Ernie Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Atlanta Posts: 28	There once was a lady who was tired of living with men who were either physically abusive, ran away from her, or were horrible in bed. So she put an ad in the paper, that was asking for a man who: A) would treat her nicely B) wouldn't run away from her C) would be good in bed Three weeks passed, and there was no reply from any man. So she just figured that there wasn't a man alive who could live up to these expectations, so she just gave up. Then one day she heard the doorbell ring. She answered it, and there on the front porch was a man in a wheel chair who didn't have any arms or legs. The man said, "I'm here about the ad you put in the paper. As you can see, I have no arms so I can't beat you, and I have no legs so I can't run away from you." The woman replied, 'Yes, but are you good in bed?' And the man said, with a smirk on his face, "How do you think I rang the doorbell?"

2003-09-21, 06:46 PM	#5
Ernie Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Atlanta Posts: 28	A British doctor says "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a brain out of one man, put it in another and have him looking for work in six weeks." A German doctor says, "That's nothing, we can take a brain out of one person, put it in another and have him preparing for war in four weeks." The American doctor, not to be outdone, says, "You guys are way behind, we just took a man with no brain out of Texas, put him in the White House, and now half the country is looking for work, and the other half preparing for war."