[Useless]

I've taken the day off because I have a dental cleaning. So I get to lay back and have a cute blonde woman with braided pigtails and a Russian accent angrily tell me that I still don't floss enough and pretty much insinuate that it'll be the death of me. "Here lies Useless - he didn't floss every day, so he's dead." I swear, one of these times I'm going to lodge a pubic hair between my teeth when I go in. We'll see what she says then!

Oh yeah, you atheists may enjoy this. Yesterday, my painting pals and I were in a lovely apartment working up a proposal. (This lady's 'apartment' is actually the second floor of a build that used to be a hotel. The rooms still have numbers on the doors. Very cool.) The owner noticed me staring at a plaque on her wall with a Latin inscription. She looked at me and said "God is everywhere and everywhere is god. That's what it says." Then she goes on to say that she truly believes that and how so many times in her life, when she was feeling especially full of herself, snot would shout out of her nose and bring her down a notch. So I replied, "you weren't full of God. You were full of mucus."

She was amused.