Thank You Everyone

[Sarah_Jayne]

I'm sorry for cross posting this but there is just too many people for me to thank and if I wrote something to each board I would still be doing this at midnight.

I just wanted to take a moment and thank everyone that has helped me over the last few weeks. Every time I start to write something to say thank you I find myself lost for words which is a fairly rare condition for me. The 24th of November was the by far the worst and most terrifying night of my life. I know some people felt it was odd that I posted on the board that night but you have to understand that I was home alone in my house for maybe the fifth time in eight years. Add to the mix that I know I am a depressive and I guess I just need to 'say' it out loud. The 48 hours or so that it took my parents and sister to get here were the darkest but since then it has been good to have my family around for a bit.

As most of you know, I didn't ask for any collections to start up for me and in fact, I fought it a bit at first but I have to say that I am grateful beyond words at all of you that helped me and I will be helping any of you that needs it in the future. I think I can safely say that I had no idea about the costs of funerals prior to this. All I can say is that if you have it in your means to pre-pay your funeral then do it so that your family doesn't have to worry about it.

The funeral was hard and yes, I did give the eulogy. It was difficult but I am glad I did it. For those of you that have asked, there is a copy of what I read on the web - Marc's Eulogy .


People that donated have a right to have an idea of how i have spent the money they very kindly gave me. The funeral costs all together (including getting his daughters down here and housed) came to just under $7000. I have spent a little bit on a new bed as I really wasn't sleeping on the old one. I suppose it just held too much memories and his scent, etc. The first four days I had five hours sleep in total so I used about $500 of it for a new bed and mattress. The rest I am keeping in my savings account for any unexpected costs that will pop up or for when I decide to go back home to see my family. They all want me to go back now but I just can't face it because they would turn up the pressure to not come back to the UK. I have built my adult life in London and having that ripped from me along with my husband would just be too much. I am not saying that I will never move back to the States but I certainly don't want it to be a forced move.

I am going away to Liverpool on Thursday to see my best friend who was unable to come to the funeral. I'll just be there until Sunday night and when I get back my mother will have already left for the airport. When I come home Sunday night I am cranking up the punk music that I haven't been able to play with my parents here and having a glass of something and toasting my 'old punk'.

Monday is when my new life officially starts and when I will be back to being the board whore we all know I am. Also, that will be the time to start icqing like normal for work related stuff. I need to get back into life and Monday will be when it happens. I have some rough times coming up. My birthday is on the 20th and I found wrapped gifts hidden for me. That will be hard but I know what they are anyway since I dropped enough hints. I am not really going to have people with me on Christmas. A few friends were going to come down but their work commitments wouldn't allow it so instead they are coming down and spending a week over New Years and we are all raising a glass to Marc and getting rat assed in his honour. I know he would be proud.


So, thanks again to everyone that has helped. Baddog and Todd have been spectacular but every one of you has helped to show me that the world isn't really as sucky as I generally go through life thinking.