Men's sex habits explained

tickler · 2005-07-04, 03:16 PM

http://www.thestar.co.za/index.php?f...494&fSetId=505

"....every girl and her sister has had some guy hint that he'd like to hop into bed with her ... and her sister."
Yep, we're all pervs.

Useless · 2005-07-04, 03:36 PM

I've decided to take a moment to answer the questions for any of GG&Jim's female readers.

Q-Why are guys obsessed with making women scream like porn stars?
Useless Answer: I wouldn't hammer a nail if it didn't make that 'bang' sound on impact, why should you be any different?

Q-Please stop the jackhammer sex, it's just plain frustrating.
Useless Answer: Christ baby, if I don't slam you so hard, your fat ass won't bounce you back up at me, and if you don't bounce back up, it's like fucking a corpse.

Q-How come men do the exact same thing every time during sex?
Useless Answer: Because I'm fucking the exact same woman.

Q- Hello! What's the big deal with swallowing?
Useless Answer: You worked so hard to get that goo out of me, seems a shame you should waste it. God hates spitters.

Q-Why do guys have bedroom attention deficit disorder?
Useless Answer: I like to change position each time reality shatters my fantasy that I'm fucking someone desirable.

Q-What's with the tongue-flicking?
Useless Answer: Would you prefer that I spit on you?

Q-Why do men fall asleep so soon after sex?
Useless Answer: I always fall asleep when I'm with someone boring.

Jel · 2005-07-04, 05:17 PM

Q-How come men do the exact same thing every time during sex?
Useless Answer: Because I'm fucking the exact same woman.

lmao, that is classic

Chop Smith · 2005-07-04, 05:22 PM

No one can out do our Useless Warrior.

SirMoby · 2005-07-04, 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Useless Warrior

I've decided to take a moment to answer the questions for any of GG&Jim's female readers.

Q- Hello! What's the big deal with swallowing?

I don't really care what you do with it but don't get any of it on me. Yuck

juggernaut · 2005-07-04, 10:15 PM

LOLOLOL WORD

Mefo · 2005-07-05, 06:15 AM

lol Useless Warrior that's some funny shit

Ms Naughty · 2005-07-05, 08:59 PM

Possible female responses to this thread
1. Be horribly offended by Useless Warrior's humor and rant against it
2. Try and come up with similarly witty and humorous list about how hopeless men are in bed
3. Hint that UW thinks he has a dick like this:
http://sexsites4women.com/blondegayguy2.jpg
4. Ignore the thread and go back to work

amber438 · 2005-07-05, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by grandmascrotum

3. Hint that UW thinks he has a dick like this:
http://sexsites4women.com/blondegayguy2.jpg

You know..I am a deprived child..
At this point in my life, I don't mind saying I've been around the block once or twice..but I NEVER SAW A DICK LIKE THAT..Photoshop does wonders it's true..
But, in the abstract chance that there might just exist one out there like that, I'd have to say it would be a hell of a man or woman to take that all in..Because it hurts me just to look at it thinking about it.

And now I will go back to work..

BTW..UW, .. |blowkiss|

Chop Smith · 2005-07-05, 10:20 PM

We are waiting Useless. Grandmascrotum has issued a challenge.

MorganGrayson · 2005-07-05, 10:22 PM

I may or may not have had some pithy comeback to Useless' post...but I clicked on the .jpg and now for the life of me, I can't remember what I was going to say.

Useless · 2005-07-05, 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MorganGrayson

I may or may not have had some pithy comeback to Useless' post...but I clicked on the .jpg and now for the life of me, I can't remember what I was going to say.

I'm right there with you. I'm speechless. |ohhhhh|

Chop Smith · 2005-07-05, 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Useless Warrior

I'm speechless.

Not possible.

Toby · 2005-07-05, 10:31 PM

For some strange reason I'm suddenly feeling terribly inadequate. |noclue|

MorganGrayson · 2005-07-05, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toby

For some strange reason I'm suddenly feeling terribly inadequate. |noclue|

Oh, please. The man's a mutant. He could run naked into a pasture and frighten the cows! |shocking|

juggernaut · 2005-07-05, 11:51 PM

LOL Im so glad Im not hung like that. I mean all that thing is good for is showing off how much you never get laid. Sure it would be interesting to look at durring parties. You could have a nice conversation about it around the camp fire while you are using it to roast marsh-mellows. But we all know 1 out of 10 girls/females/woman/gay men are really thinking about cutting down that tree. The rest are just glad they never had to deal with the task of telling that guy for the 900000 time. I'm sorry but its just too big, cant we just sit here and watch the news. lol

juggernaut · 2005-07-05, 11:53 PM

Besides where the hell did his balls go? lol

Cleo · 2005-07-06, 12:02 AM

There is this study which shows that men are not truly bisexual but woman are.
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/07/05/he...sex.html?8hpib
Free registration required.

After reading UW's post I'm guessing that hetro men aren't bisexual for the same reason that they aren't attracted to pigs at the local farm.

the_dawn · 2005-07-06, 12:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cleo

There is this study which shows that men are not truly bisexual but woman are.
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/07/05/he...sex.html?8hpib
Free registration required.

After reading UW's post I'm guessing that hetro men aren't bisexual for the same reason that they aren't attracted to pigs at the local farm.

LOL... I totally agree with you buddy. Thanks for the link.. |shocking|

Ms Naughty · 2005-07-06, 12:59 AM

ROFL
I made UW speechless! Cool!
Meanwhile, Cleo sinks the slipper with style.

By the way, I had a lot of fun creating monster dicks in Photoshop.
More here: http://sexsites4women.com/dickzilla/dickzilla.html

MorganGrayson · 2005-07-06, 01:57 AM

Well, grandmascrotum...all I can think looking at those pics is that Pinnochio got lucky! |ohhhhh|

brian_edward · 2005-07-06, 03:42 AM

cool.. lol!

amber438 · 2005-07-06, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MorganGrayson

Well, grandmascrotum...all I can think looking at those pics is that Pinnochio got lucky! |ohhhhh|

bwahahaha!!

Grandma, that's great!!

SirMoby · 2005-07-06, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amber438

You know..I am a deprived child..
At this point in my life, I don't mind saying I've been around the block once or twice..but I NEVER SAW A DICK LIKE THAT..Photoshop does wonders it's true..
But, in the abstract chance that there might just exist one out there like that, I'd have to say it would be a hell of a man or woman to take that all in..Because it hurts me just to look at it thinking about it.

And now I will go back to work..

BTW..UW, .. |blowkiss|

I used to work on a pony farm and you'd see cocks like that all the time.

abba · 2005-07-06, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MorganGrayson

Well, grandmascrotum...all I can think looking at those pics is that Pinnochio got lucky! |ohhhhh|

Simply brilliant

2005-07-04, 03:16 PM	#1
tickler If there is nobody out there, that's a lot of real estate going to waste! Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 2,177	Men's sex habits explained http://www.thestar.co.za/index.php?f...494&fSetId=505 "....every girl and her sister has had some guy hint that he'd like to hop into bed with her ... and her sister." Yep, we're all pervs. __________________ Latina Twins, Solo, NN, Hardcore Latin Teen Cash

2005-07-04, 03:36 PM	#2
Useless Certified Nice Person Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Dirty Undies, NY Posts: 11,268	I've decided to take a moment to answer the questions for any of GG&Jim's female readers. Q-Why are guys obsessed with making women scream like porn stars? Useless Answer: I wouldn't hammer a nail if it didn't make that 'bang' sound on impact, why should you be any different? Q-Please stop the jackhammer sex, it's just plain frustrating. Useless Answer: Christ baby, if I don't slam you so hard, your fat ass won't bounce you back up at me, and if you don't bounce back up, it's like fucking a corpse. Q-How come men do the exact same thing every time during sex? Useless Answer: Because I'm fucking the exact same woman. Q- Hello! What's the big deal with swallowing? Useless Answer: You worked so hard to get that goo out of me, seems a shame you should waste it. God hates spitters. Q-Why do guys have bedroom attention deficit disorder? Useless Answer: I like to change position each time reality shatters my fantasy that I'm fucking someone desirable. Q-What's with the tongue-flicking? Useless Answer: Would you prefer that I spit on you? Q-Why do men fall asleep so soon after sex? Useless Answer: I always fall asleep when I'm with someone boring. __________________ Click here to purchase a bridge I'm selling.

2005-07-04, 05:22 PM	#4
Chop Smith Eighteen 'til I Die Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Mississippi Posts: 2,168	No one can out do our Useless Warrior. __________________

2005-07-05, 06:15 AM	#7
Mefo Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 150	lol Useless Warrior that's some funny shit __________________ Private Cash 121747195

2005-07-05, 08:59 PM	#8
Ms Naughty old enough to be Grandma Scrotum Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Australia Posts: 1,408	Possible female responses to this thread 1. Be horribly offended by Useless Warrior's humor and rant against it 2. Try and come up with similarly witty and humorous list about how hopeless men are in bed 3. Hint that UW thinks he has a dick like this: http://sexsites4women.com/blondegayguy2.jpg 4. Ignore the thread and go back to work __________________ Promote Bright Desire

2005-07-04, 05:17 PM	#3
Jel I'm the only guy in the world who has to wake up to have a nightmare Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: London, United Kingdom Posts: 1,895	Q-How come men do the exact same thing every time during sex? Useless Answer: Because I'm fucking the exact same woman. lmao, that is classic

2005-07-04, 10:15 PM	#6
juggernaut Registered User Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Central Jersey! If I was rich and powerful I would dress as my avatar does. Posts: 1,448	LOLOLOL WORD

2005-07-05, 10:20 PM	#10
Chop Smith Eighteen 'til I Die Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Mississippi Posts: 2,168	We are waiting Useless. Grandmascrotum has issued a challenge. __________________

2005-07-05, 10:22 PM	#11
MorganGrayson The only guys who wear Hawaiian shirts are gay guys and big fat party animals Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 171	I may or may not have had some pithy comeback to Useless' post...but I clicked on the .jpg and now for the life of me, I can't remember what I was going to say. __________________ <a href="http://www.writtentemptations.com/"><img src="http://www.morgangrayson.com/ggwt.jpg" border=0><br>Written Temptations<br>Erotic Stories</a>

2005-07-05, 10:31 PM	#14
Toby Lonewolf Internet Sales Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Houston Posts: 4,826	For some strange reason I'm suddenly feeling terribly inadequate. \|noclue\| __________________ Latex Vixens Babes In Boots Well Heeled Women Dressing For Sex Stocking Vixens

2005-07-05, 11:51 PM	#16
juggernaut Registered User Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Central Jersey! If I was rich and powerful I would dress as my avatar does. Posts: 1,448	LOL Im so glad Im not hung like that. I mean all that thing is good for is showing off how much you never get laid. Sure it would be interesting to look at durring parties. You could have a nice conversation about it around the camp fire while you are using it to roast marsh-mellows. But we all know 1 out of 10 girls/females/woman/gay men are really thinking about cutting down that tree. The rest are just glad they never had to deal with the task of telling that guy for the 900000 time. I'm sorry but its just too big, cant we just sit here and watch the news. lol

2005-07-05, 11:53 PM	#17
juggernaut Registered User Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Central Jersey! If I was rich and powerful I would dress as my avatar does. Posts: 1,448	Besides where the hell did his balls go? lol

2005-07-06, 12:02 AM	#18
Cleo Subversive filth of the hedonistic decadent West Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Southeast Florida Posts: 27,936	There is this study which shows that men are not truly bisexual but woman are. http://www.nytimes.com/2005/07/05/he...sex.html?8hpib Free registration required. After reading UW's post I'm guessing that hetro men aren't bisexual for the same reason that they aren't attracted to pigs at the local farm. __________________ Free Rides on Uber and Lyft Uber Car: uberTzTerri Lyft Car: TZ896289

2005-07-06, 12:59 AM	#20
Ms Naughty old enough to be Grandma Scrotum Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Australia Posts: 1,408	ROFL I made UW speechless! Cool! Meanwhile, Cleo sinks the slipper with style. By the way, I had a lot of fun creating monster dicks in Photoshop. More here: http://sexsites4women.com/dickzilla/dickzilla.html __________________ Promote Bright Desire

2005-07-06, 01:57 AM	#21
MorganGrayson The only guys who wear Hawaiian shirts are gay guys and big fat party animals Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 171	Well, grandmascrotum...all I can think looking at those pics is that Pinnochio got lucky! \|ohhhhh\| __________________ <a href="http://www.writtentemptations.com/"><img src="http://www.morgangrayson.com/ggwt.jpg" border=0><br>Written Temptations<br>Erotic Stories</a>

2005-07-06, 03:42 AM	#22
brian_edward Internet! Is that thing still around? Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 7	cool.. lol! __________________ Bi-weekly payments with no hold. 70-80% rev-share.