Happy Saturday Morning

[FanTC]

Good Morning

Drinking some pecan praline coffee and prepping for a day of shopping... oh joy! I think diamonds are on the list for Carol to make up for the old titties remark I made on her birthday.

I'll prolly wind up in jail soon. Some yahoo seems to think my yard is his dog's toilet. Yesterday, he comes walking his dog along and it shit in my yard again. I went out and asked him to remove it and he popped off something to the effect of "fuck you". Wrong answer!

I was a bit high and it rubbed me wrong, so off I go down the steps mumbling obscenities and I picked up his shit and threw at him with a stern warning that next time I'd beat his ass and stick the dog and the shit dead up his ass. He bypassed my yard on the evening walk, but I suspect he'll be back and I've got bail ready and a bad attitude to match.

Have yourself a shit-free day!

[Useless]

Originally Posted by FanTC

...he popped off something to the effect of "fuck you". Wrong answer!

I was a bit high and it rubbed me wrong...

I can't imagine why that would rub you wrong. I once spotted a guy walking away after his golder retriever took a dump on my lawn. I walked out onto the porch and yelled something unintelligible at him. He apologized pretty quickly, but it was too late. You see, I have this problem - I can't argue coherently in person. I'm an emotional person, so my remarks always seem to sound at least semi-psychotic. I kept yelling to him, as he was quickly walking away, something to the order of, "you think I don't have enough shit in my life? I have too much shit. You think I need your shit?" He was back the next day with a bag to remove his dog's shit. And me, being the ass that I am, I thanked him.

Anyway, it looks like another day of attempting to squelch the draftiness of this old house. I'd like to have a helicopter hover over the house and drop a vat of silicone caulk on it. Of course, the last time I started this project, I ended up spending half a day in the cellar, cleaning out the main sewage line by hand. See, my life has plenty of shit. I don't need other people's shit.

[Cleo]

Originally Posted by Useless Warrior

I can't imagine why that would rub you wrong. I once spotted a guy walking away after his golder retriever took a dump on my lawn. I walked out onto the porch and yelled something unintelligible at him. He apologized pretty quickly, but it was too late. You see, I have this problem - I can't argue coherently in person. I'm an emotional person, so my remarks always seem to sound at least semi-psychotic. I kept yelling to him, as he was quickly walking away, something to the order of, "you think I don't have enough shit in my life? I have too much shit. You think I need your shit?" He was back the next day with a bag to remove his dog's shit. And me, being the ass that I am, I thanked him.

Wow, no shit...