I Sale Short ICQ or Programming Work [AYBABTU]

Theodor Geisel · 2005-06-28, 08:56 PM

In A.D. 2101, war was beginning.

I am now offering my services as a php/mysql programmer.

Captain: What happen ?

I need the work. I would be happy to discuss any amount of work. No job is too large or too small.

Mechanic: Somebody set us up the bomb.

I have several different price points. Since I believe in cheap work, here is what I offer. Now, I want you to keep in mind that it is difficult to do scripting for $50 and make much money at it, unless there is some serious volume.

Operator: We get signal.

Okay, so the first price point is the big deal, so I'll explain it. This price point is if I program a script, and you just want a script and don't care if I sell it to other people and you don't want to pay a lot of money. I call this the X price. In other words, the script at this price would come Zend Encoded and the LICENSE would NOT be EXCLUSIVE. I would like to note here that I would not sell a script that has "Sponsor X" crap all over it to "Sponsor Y".

Captain: What !

This price point is for all those people that want the script all to themselves, but everything else is okay with them. I call this the Y price, and is generally five times as much as the X price because at this level, the script is EXCLUSIVE and Zend Encoded. For those of you still with me, you could also call this the 5X price. If you're the only one using it, then I have to be able to make some money at it, right?

Operator: Main screen turn on.

The final price point is the one where you do NOT want your script to be encoded and you want the script all to yourself. I would not be able to resell these scripts primarily because of the chance of script-lending or script-borrowing or whatever else is out there. You know what I mean. I call this the Z price, and the script comes EXCLUSIVE and NOT ZEND ENCODED. This price is generally ten times the X price.

Captain: It's you !!

So, there we have it -- X, Y, and Z pricing, and the explanations of each.

CATS: How are you gentlemen !!

As you can see, English is my first language and I am most willing to do business with people that speak any language. Since English is my first language and I have had to fire my interpreter, then please rest assured that if you do not have a firm grasp on English then I will ask a lot of questions to make sure we understand each other.

CATS: All your base are belong to us.

I also do script installations. Not my script, of course, I install all of my original scripts for free. I install scripts you buy for a charge.

CATS: You are on the way to destruction.

I troubleshoot scripts that aren't mine.

Captain: What you say !!

That's right, I install other people's scripts.

CATS: You have no chance to survive make your time.

I am not an outsourcing company.

CATS: Ha Ha Ha Ha ....

I am but one person.

Operator: Captain !!

I live in the United States, but I work (for various reasons) from the times of 4pm Eastern to 12am (Midnight) Eastern.

Captain: Take off every 'Zig'!!

My email address is theodor.geisel -at- gmail [dot] com.

Captain: You know what you doing.

My ICQ number is 2 0 6 6 1 0 7.

Captain: Move 'Zig'.

I am always on ICQ. I can always be reached. I only respond in a working manner between those times I have mentioned above EXCEPT when there's an emergency or complaint. I am right on top of those.

Captain: For great justice.

-- TSG

PS. I realize that some of you must be scratching your heads, wondering why I have posted such an odd message. It's not odd at all, I tell you. No, wait, okay. It is a little odd. But most of the stuff in bold comes from a very poorly translated game. Rather than give you a blow by blow history, below this paragraph is a link that explains it, more so than I'm sure you ever wanted to know.
OMFG CLICK ME NOW!!!11!!!11!!!!!1!1!11!1onethousandonehundredeleven!!11!!11!!11!!!one!

Toby · 2005-06-28, 09:02 PM

Zero-Wing fans are everywhere.

All your base are belong to us!

Useless · 2005-06-28, 09:02 PM

http://www.planettribes.com/allyourbase/AYB2.swf

Chop Smith · 2005-06-28, 09:27 PM

Is this something like Pac-man?

Toby · 2005-06-28, 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chop Smith

Is this something like Pac-man?

http://www.toaplan.com/zerowing/

Theodor Geisel · 2005-06-28, 09:51 PM

Incidentally, I program.

Chop Smith · 2005-06-28, 10:36 PM

Oh hell I posted off topic. Sorry, I thought you drove by to let us in on a new game.

Theodor Geisel · 2005-06-28, 10:48 PM

Yeah, it seems like a drive by. I don't have a "message board" home. I go where I can.

Chop Smith · 2005-06-29, 12:30 AM

Seriously, wecome. This is a good place to park. Lots of good folks and a few old dead heads hang out here.

Theodor Geisel · 2005-06-29, 12:38 AM

Yeah, the first link list I ever posted to was link-o-rama.

Thanks for the welcome.

Useless · 2005-06-29, 09:52 AM

101 views and counting!

I don't know how your progamming skills are, but your marketing strategy seems to be working pretty damn well.

Welcome to GG&Jim, Theodor

Theodor Geisel · 2005-06-29, 12:24 PM

I'm working on getting my "portfolio" up and visible for all to see. I realize, of course, that me saying "I'm a programmer!" with no proof would be taken as seriously as if I were to yell, "I'm Prince Charles!"

2005-06-28, 08:56 PM	#1
Theodor Geisel Internet! Is that thing still around? Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 5	I Sale Short ICQ or Programming Work [AYBABTU] In A.D. 2101, war was beginning. I am now offering my services as a php/mysql programmer. Captain: What happen ? I need the work. I would be happy to discuss any amount of work. No job is too large or too small. Mechanic: Somebody set us up the bomb. I have several different price points. Since I believe in cheap work, here is what I offer. Now, I want you to keep in mind that it is difficult to do scripting for $50 and make much money at it, unless there is some serious volume. Operator: We get signal. Okay, so the first price point is the big deal, so I'll explain it. This price point is if I program a script, and you just want a script and don't care if I sell it to other people and you don't want to pay a lot of money. I call this the X price. In other words, the script at this price would come *Zend Encoded* and the *LICENSE* would *NOT* be *EXCLUSIVE. I would like to note here that I would not sell a script that has "Sponsor X" crap all over it to "Sponsor Y". Captain: What !* This price point is for all those people that want the script all to themselves, but everything else is okay with them. I call this the Y price, and is generally five times as much as the X price because at this level, the script is *EXCLUSIVE* and *Zend Encoded. For those of you still with me, you could also call this the 5X price. If you're the only one using it, then I have to be able to make some money at it, right? Operator: Main screen turn on.* The final price point is the one where you do NOT want your script to be encoded and you want the script all to yourself. I would not be able to resell these scripts primarily because of the chance of script-lending or script-borrowing or whatever else is out there. You know what I mean. I call this the Z price, and the script comes *EXCLUSIVE* and *NOT ZEND ENCODED. This price is generally ten times the X price. Captain: It's you !!* So, there we have it -- X, Y, and Z pricing, and the explanations of each. CATS: How are you gentlemen !! As you can see, English is my first language and I am most willing to do business with people that speak any language. Since English is my first language and I have had to fire my interpreter, then please rest assured that if you do not have a firm grasp on English then I will ask a lot of questions to make sure we understand each other. CATS: All your base are belong to us. I also do script installations. Not my script, of course, I install all of my original scripts for free. I install scripts you buy for a charge. CATS: You are on the way to destruction. I troubleshoot scripts that aren't mine. Captain: What you say !! That's right, I install other people's scripts. CATS: You have no chance to survive make your time. I am not an outsourcing company. CATS: Ha Ha Ha Ha .... I am but one person. Operator: Captain !! I live in the United States, but I work (for various reasons) from the times of 4pm Eastern to 12am (Midnight) Eastern. Captain: Take off every 'Zig'!! My email address is theodor.geisel -at- gmail [dot] com. Captain: You know what you doing. My ICQ number is 2 0 6 6 1 0 7. Captain: Move 'Zig'. I am always on ICQ. I can always be reached. I only respond in a working manner between those times I have mentioned above EXCEPT when there's an emergency or complaint. I am right on top of those. Captain: For great justice. -- TSG PS. I realize that some of you must be scratching your heads, wondering why I have posted such an odd message. It's not odd at all, I tell you. No, wait, okay. It is a little odd. But most of the stuff in bold comes from a very poorly translated game. Rather than give you a blow by blow history, below this paragraph is a link that explains it, more so than I'm sure you ever wanted to know. OMFG CLICK ME NOW!!!11!!!11!!!!!1!1!11!1onethousandonehundredeleven!!11!!11!!11!!!one!

2005-06-28, 09:02 PM	#2
Toby Lonewolf Internet Sales Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Houston Posts: 4,826	Zero-Wing fans are everywhere. All your base are belong to us! __________________ Latex Vixens Babes In Boots Well Heeled Women Dressing For Sex Stocking Vixens Last edited by Toby; 2005-06-28 at 09:41 PM.. Reason: brain cramp

2005-06-28, 09:02 PM	#3
Useless Certified Nice Person Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Dirty Undies, NY Posts: 11,268	http://www.planettribes.com/allyourbase/AYB2.swf __________________ Click here to purchase a bridge I'm selling.

2005-06-28, 09:27 PM	#4
Chop Smith Eighteen 'til I Die Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Mississippi Posts: 2,168	Is this something like Pac-man? __________________

2005-06-28, 10:36 PM	#7
Chop Smith Eighteen 'til I Die Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Mississippi Posts: 2,168	Oh hell I posted off topic. Sorry, I thought you drove by to let us in on a new game. __________________

2005-06-28, 09:51 PM	#6
Theodor Geisel Internet! Is that thing still around? Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 5	Incidentally, I program.

2005-06-28, 10:48 PM	#8
Theodor Geisel Internet! Is that thing still around? Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 5	Yeah, it seems like a drive by. I don't have a "message board" home. I go where I can.

2005-06-29, 12:30 AM	#9
Chop Smith Eighteen 'til I Die Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Mississippi Posts: 2,168	Seriously, wecome. This is a good place to park. Lots of good folks and a few old dead heads hang out here. __________________

2005-06-29, 12:38 AM	#10
Theodor Geisel Internet! Is that thing still around? Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 5	Yeah, the first link list I ever posted to was link-o-rama. Thanks for the welcome.

2005-06-29, 09:52 AM	#11
Useless Certified Nice Person Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Dirty Undies, NY Posts: 11,268	101 views and counting! I don't know how your progamming skills are, but your marketing strategy seems to be working pretty damn well. Welcome to GG&Jim, Theodor __________________ Click here to purchase a bridge I'm selling.

2005-06-29, 12:24 PM	#12
Theodor Geisel Internet! Is that thing still around? Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 5	I'm working on getting my "portfolio" up and visible for all to see. I realize, of course, that me saying "I'm a programmer!" with no proof would be taken as seriously as if I were to yell, "I'm Prince Charles!"