Men's sex habits explained

[Useless]

I've decided to take a moment to answer the questions for any of GG&Jim's female readers.

Q-Why are guys obsessed with making women scream like porn stars?
Useless Answer: I wouldn't hammer a nail if it didn't make that 'bang' sound on impact, why should you be any different?

Q-Please stop the jackhammer sex, it's just plain frustrating.
Useless Answer: Christ baby, if I don't slam you so hard, your fat ass won't bounce you back up at me, and if you don't bounce back up, it's like fucking a corpse.

Q-How come men do the exact same thing every time during sex?
Useless Answer: Because I'm fucking the exact same woman.

Q- Hello! What's the big deal with swallowing?
Useless Answer: You worked so hard to get that goo out of me, seems a shame you should waste it. God hates spitters.

Q-Why do guys have bedroom attention deficit disorder?
Useless Answer: I like to change position each time reality shatters my fantasy that I'm fucking someone desirable.

Q-What's with the tongue-flicking?
Useless Answer: Would you prefer that I spit on you?

Q-Why do men fall asleep so soon after sex?
Useless Answer: I always fall asleep when I'm with someone boring.

[SirMoby]

Originally Posted by Useless Warrior

I've decided to take a moment to answer the questions for any of GG&Jim's female readers.
Q- Hello! What's the big deal with swallowing?

I don't really care what you do with it but don't get any of it on me. Yuck