If anyone needs me...

[Useless]

Originally Posted by RawAlex

I want to add this:

This involves all of your friends around here. Whatever issue you may have with one person or another shouldn't lead to the use of a flame thrower on every bridge in every direction. Mark isn't just talking about deal with whatever issue brought this around, but also reminding you that there are any number of other people out here at a loss for finding the door slammed in our faces as well.

The rest of us deserve better.

Alex

Thank you, Alex, you are right. And I really do appreciate those who have taken the time to contact me and ask my side of the story. There are very few people who know the full story and even fewer who have spoken to me since this all began. If I would have been allowed to argue my position in a more open manner, it never would have come this far.

Allow me to say my peace and I will go quietly away. Please know that the very minor incident that has spawned this fiasco is not where my anger and frustration lies. That was, in fact, a release of burden for me, nothing more. It's the events that followed which have created pain for me, as I'm sure they were intended to do.

Months ago, GG did me a great favor which gave me a knew hope for my future in this business, and the fact that someone else was permitted to take that away and embarass me in such a manner in front of some very important community members cuts me deeply. I sense that because of that individual's stature, and my lowly position, everyone would like me to just accept it and move on. I did nothing wrong, yet I am the one who must eat crow. I'm sorry, but that's just not how I work. I may be nothing more than a servant in this industry, but I bow before no one. I committed no other crime than stating my opinion in my now infamous way.

Greenguy, I thank you for your role in extending the olive branch, but I don't see the point in talking to this person anymore. Hell, if he would have called me a couple weeks ago to find out what was going on, both his and my lives would be happier right now. You've done a lot for me Gman, and again, I thank you. No one has treated me better or had more faith in me. I really wish I didn't have to fail you this way, but I'm just going to leave the ball sitting right where it is and go home. It's the politics of this game that have made me lose, nothing more. My honesty and loyalty are still very much in tact.

[Greenguy]

Originally Posted by Useless Warrior

...Months ago, GG did me a great favor which gave me a knew hope for my future in this business, and the fact that someone else was permitted to take that away and embarass me in such a manner in front of some very important community members cuts me deeply....

You have to admit that, while I know it was done inadvertently, looking at it from his side of things, you cut 1st. Just to put it into perspective, if MML had done that to me, he'd have gotten an earful as well.

Originally Posted by Useless Warrior

...Hell, if he would have called me a couple weeks ago to find out what was going on, both his and my lives would be happier right now...

He did. If you had Caller ID on the phone, you'd know this That's why there were emails & the snailmail letter.

[Useless]

Originally Posted by Greenguy

You have to admit that, while I know it was done inadvertently, looking at it from his side of things, you cut 1st. Just to put it into perspective, if MML had done that to me, he'd have gotten an earful as well.

Firstly, MML gets paid to work for you. Was I getting paid? No. Everyone (including yourself) laughed at the arrangement I had with him. I was foolish for accepting that offer and regretted it after I was told how naive I was for doing that, but I did not give up. I did NOT cut and run. I fell behind 6 days behind on reviewing. And yes, I can see how that would be a big whopping deal to him. On an established successful list, falling back one day would be unacceptable. But on a new list, it's really not a big deal. And, as I had posted, I would have gotten it all caught up that weekend. Who else was working that list? Anyone? Can I see a some hands? No one. I was nothing less than abandoned with an incomplete script. No blacklist. No way to delete 404s. Nothing. I had a very simply review interface, that was all. Any wonder why I don't feel guilty? Any wonder why I was pleased have my service there ended?

Originally Posted by Greenguy

He did. If you had Caller ID on the phone, you'd know this That's why there were emails & the snailmail letter.

I don't need caller ID. Caller ID is for people who avoid phone calls. I answer my phone when I'm home. But if people would take a step back, they'd realize that at the same time this dibacle was unfolding, I was just starting my new day job, which is painting, as you know. I'm not home during the day anymore. Infact, I'm late for work right now. (good thing my new bosses like me ) And, during the same week, my beatiful wife was in Vegas, having a great time by the way. So, I'm busy with a new job, that PAYS me, my wife is away, which leaves me with my kids and all of the household responsibilities. Gee - my priorities ARE fucked. What was I thinking? I should have done a better job and made that shittly little link list my number one concern. Quick, someone fuck me with a big stick. I deserve it. I'm a bad, bad boy.

I really need to go to work now. I'm all hopped-up on Dunkin Donuts Latte and still haven't changed into my work clothes.

[Greenguy]

See, I'm in a really shitty position on all this - and it's not just the friends aspect of things - I can completely see both sides of the problem and while calling or emailing him that you were behind would have been the better thing to do, I can also see why you posted because I know these things happen with Link Lists.

And MML is a PERFECT example when you take LOR out of the equation - his job is to maintain 20+ link & tgp admins each week that he does NOT get paid a salary for. He gets a cut of those sites just like you. If he posted that Chubby Links was 6 days behind & that we was gonna clean it up that weekend without telling me personally, I'd have been quite upset.

Yes, the admin didn't do what it was supposed to do.
Yes, I completely understand how you felt on that subject.
Yes, I would have also been throwing my hands up in the air as well.

Personally, I would have probably just quit in private & moved on (and that's not meant as me thinking that your post was you "quitting")

I understand that you took on the offline job & that's great, but you can't throw out the "if he would have called me a couple weeks ago" when he did call, he did email & he did snailmail.

He called again yesterday & left you a message (and not by my urging) and PM'd you. Apart from him driving to your house, I really have no other idea how he could've contacted you

If you want to leave it the way it is, that's fine with me - as long as your anger towards him does not come out on the board - I can't have that & I think you know this.

[Useless]

Originally Posted by Greenguy

If you want to leave it the way it is, that's fine with me - as long as your anger towards him does not come out on the board - I can't have that & I think you know this.

You're completely right. I never meant for my hostility to show and it even amazes me how much of an asshole I can be when I don't keep myself in check. I am sorry for that. I'm in state now where I'm embarassing myself more than what he had done. And I do a fine job of it. I'm sorry for bringing this to the board, GG. Part of me really needed to sound my barbaric yawp from the rooftops (Dead Poets Society), to get it all out, which is pretty damned hard while trying to be discreet. I'm sorry for making such a mockery of all this on your board. Please accept my sincere apology.

Alex, thank you. Your PM has helped me pull this back into perspective. I keep inflating the issue out of anger and stress and it has become something much larger than what it was. I've been told more than a few times in my life that I can be somewhat irrational. I've had a few excellent advisors during the last week or so and they all told me to pull back, relax, and to think this all through. It seems that I've ignored them all, even while concisously admitting that they were right. I'm a little fucked up that way. OK, a lot fucked up.

So here I am, humbled. Someone did something to punish me, I guess, and it pissed me right off. Could you tell? And honestly, it angered the holy fuck out of me that GG didn't instantly reverse what that guy did to me. I understand why he didn't. Business is business and I'm just a new nut case on the block, getting nuttier by the day. Frankly, I wouldn't want it back now anyway. Still angry about it, but I don't want it back. Damn, I'm a misconfigured unit.

I'm calm now, but I still don't see the point in talking to him. I've nothing to say to him. I'd like to see him punished. That would be nice. Maybe he should have to do jumping-jacks naked in the snow or play Jenga after drinking 7 or 8 black coffees. I don't know. He wins. He warned me. I can't deny that. He told me he'd fuck me and he did. Oh well. At least people like me for who am. I still have that. Bet he can't say that. |clown|

Let me give a shout out to all you loving bastard that supported me and showered me with "cocksucker" along the way. I felt the love. I really did. I'll try to stick around and not let you filthy fucks down. Deal? Deal.