 |
|
2004-05-06, 07:58 PM
|
#5 |
|
I've always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is -- and it's me
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Kingman, AZ
Posts: 329
  |
ATTORNEYS SUCK
Went to talk with one. Cost me $350 for the hour. I would have had more fun getting a hooker. At least I would have left satisfied. So I had to find some lawyer jokes to cheer me up  What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer? A tick falls off of you when you die. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you call a lawyer who doesn't chase ambulances? Retired. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? Six. One to change the bulb and five to write the environmental impact statement. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention? The caterer. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Where can you find a good lawyer? In the cemetery. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? You shoot the lawyer. Twice. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you have when you bury six lawyers up to their necks in sand? Not enough sand. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is it dangerous for a lawyer to walk onto a construction site when plumbers are working? Because they might connect the drain line to the wrong suer. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving from an airplane? Skeet. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Did you hear that the Post Office had to recall its series of stamps depicting famous lawyers? People were confused about which side to spit on. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion? You cry when you cut up an onion. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist? Terrorists have sympathizers. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. -- William Shakespeare
__________________
Please Re-Read The Rules For Sig Files |
|
|
|
|
Threaded Mode