To answer points 1 and 2: don't spam. Don't spam boards, don't spam email addresses. It doesn't matter if you put a lot of effort into writing your spam, if it's an unsolicited commercial, it's still junk mail. No one likes spammers, and it's a quick way for people to dislike your sites.
As for point 4, give it a go. You have to spend money to make money in this business, and boards are generally more forgiving of spam from their sponsors. It's a nice gesture of goodwill to anyone you may have spammed, and it will reach webmasters who never heard of you in the first place.
You should also consider devoting some ad budget to potential site customers, which may or pay not be a better use of funds. Give them both a go and see what's the best use of money. I'm a small webmaster, and I've spent thousands of dollars this year testing out different paid ads for my sites. Some work, some don't, and you can only figure it out by testing the waters.
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Originally Posted by Bigsister
Is there any system, which would be able to connect me with a list of reliable webmasters for a decent sales commission?
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Yes, that system is called hard work, networking, building relationships with fellow webmasters, offering a quality product that converts and retains, and always paying affiliates on time. There's no easy answer or quick fix when getting started, just start with the above-mentioned points, and best of luck for running a reliable, profitable program for everyone!