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Old 2006-02-21, 01:17 AM   #1
Wazza
I'm a jaded evil bastard, I wouldn't piss on myself if I was on fire...
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tigermom
Ummm, didn't Lisa and Marge ever say anything?
Yes, but neither have ever said anything even remotely funny...

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Old 2006-02-21, 01:38 AM   #2
MeatPounder
Women might be able to fake orgasms But men can fake whole relationships
 
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Lisa

Quote:
Be myself? I've been myself for eight years and it hasn't worked.

Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?

Mom, romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.

Solitude never hurt anyone. Emily Dickinson lived alone, and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known... then went crazy as a loon.

I'm no theologian. I don't know who or what God is. All I know is he's more powerful than Mom and Dad put together.

If cartoons were meant for adults, they'd put them on in prime time.

He's like a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a vest.

Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.

And now you can go back to just being you, instead of a one-dimensional character with a silly catchphrase.

Relax? I can't relax! Nor can I yield, relent, or... Only two synonyms? Oh my God, I'm losing my perspicacity! Aaaaa!

You can't create a monster, then whine when it stomps on a few buildings

It's naive to think you can change a person--except maybe that boy who works in the library.

Science has already proven the dangers of smoking, alcohol, and Chinese food, but I can still ruin soft drinks for everyone!

It's not our fault our generation has short attention spans, Dad. We watch an appalling amount of TV.

Marge

Quote:
I'd like to visit that Long Island Place, if only it were real.

I guess one person can make a difference. But most of the time, they probably shouldn't.

I brought you a tuna sandwich. They say it's brain food. I guess because there's so much dolphin in it, and you know how smart they are.

Homer, I thought our marriage could survive anything, but last night, you not only crossed the line, you threw up on it.

You know, the courts may not be working any more, but as long as everyone is videotaping everyone else, justice will be done.

You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head.

History's like an amusement park. Except instead of rides you have dates to memorize.


You know, when I was a girl, I always dreamed of being in a Broadway audience.

Do you want your son to be Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, or a sleazy male stripper?

Now if you'll excuse me I have some dust that needs busting.

We have roots here,Homer. We have friends and library cards … Bart’s lawyer is here

Last edited by MeatPounder; 2006-02-21 at 01:57 AM.. Reason: [After Homer runs over a deer] Homer: D'oh! Marge: A deer! Lisa: A female deer!
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